Yay! no more call buttons for basic needs. No Physical Therapist torturing me twice daily (just Kidding), and no more hospital food!
First thing I I'm going to get as soon as I get out....a Sonic Diet Coke with Crushy ice and a Dions Ham Sub! YES!
I am sure my physical therapist will berate me over my nutritional choice - but what the heck! It will totally be worth it.
I am also going to miss that really cool hospital bed. I can spend hours amusing myself with all those cool buttons and positions. My physical therapist "locked me out" of it when she came in and saw the weird position I had it in.
"Patrick-what did you do?" My body was jack-knifed but felt oddly comfortable and took away some of the post-surgery, lying in bed for 20 hours, back pain. (I figured out all by myself that the little button with a lock on it also unlocks the controls). Probably not a good idea after bilateral knee surgery.
What I won't miss are the 2 am - "I need to get your vital signs and some blood sir blues."
Why do they have to take your blood in the middle of the night? Is it because they want to see what the blood does when it sleeps? I think that (judging from the many bruises on my arm)- this is the time the new phlebotomists get to practice.
I am sorry - but you would think that they have to be able to spell phlebotomist before they are allowed to "stick ya". Now I see why they call it a blood draw- After they are done poking me- my arm looks like a map of Eastern Europe.
Anyway - I am done with all of this. Now I have to do it all on my own...I have schedule all of my outpatient physical therapy, the Coumadin blood draws. What?! I have to get up and use my walker? Maybe the hospital was not so bad….